The story of Job is one of the most remarkable bible stories of faith and perseverance. The trials that faced Job have long served Christians as a marker of the trust and faith that God would want our lives to be in spite of the tribulations we are facing. Many will say that the trials and tribulations that faced Job were well beyond the trials and tribulations we would face today.
But in the case of the lives of Theldoris and Don Maxey, a Job like existence is not too far removed from reality. This is their story; it's a story filled with tragedy, perseverance, and an unbelievable display of faith, that probably affords them a uniquely insightful view into the life of God's beloved servant Job.
Theldoris and Don Maxey first met while they were attending high school at Albuquerque High. They would be officially introduced to each other through Theldoris' twin sister, Mable. But they are in agreement that the one most instrumental in the development of their relationship was Theldoris' older sister Bernadette.
What transpired was a lasting relationship that began in 1967, their sophomore year in high school, and took a major step when the two would marry after graduation in 1969.
Their family would soon expand with the birth of their first child Don Jr. It was also in 1969 that the family moved to Denver, Colorado where Don had successfully located employment working at the Ralston Purina packing plant. However, the cold Colorado weather was having such a bad effect on Theldoris, the move was short lived and the couple and their young son was forced to move back to Albuquerque within a year of the move to Colorado.
This year, Don and Theldoris celebrate 39 years of marriage and the blessing of a family that expanded in 1970 with the birth of a second son, Aaron, and in 1974 their daughter, Mache', would be born.
“We were blessed with a wonderful family and I have no regrets for the gifts God gave to us, or the challenges he saw fit for me and Don to endure,” shared Theldoris.
Mache', the couple's third and youngest child, was the first unthinkable tragedy to face the Maxeys. Mache' was killed in 1993 in Amarillo, Texas where she and her young son were living with her boyfriend. Mache' was 19 years old when she was shot and killed by her jealous boyfriend, who also shot her young son Tristan in the abdomen, in an argument over her desire to move back to her home in Albuquerque. Mache' died but her young son Tristan miraculously survived the ordeal. Today, Tristan lives with Don and Theldoris and is a junior at La Academia De Esperanza. “Tristan is a constant reminder to us of Mache'; he has so many of her mannerisms. When I see him, I am reminded daily just how blessed we are to have him,” says Don.
While the Maxey family was yet reeling from the lost of their youngest child, one year and five months later they received the horrifying news of the death of their oldest son Don Jr. Don was murdered in Denver, Colorado at the age of 26 in 1995. He was the father of three children, who like Tristan were also present at the murder scene of their parent. But in this case, the children were unharmed. It is believed that Don Jr. was the victim of young men being initiated into a gang. Don Jr. was also robbed and his children, ranging from ages 2 to 5 years of age, were left to deal with some extremely painful memories. Don Jr. and his family had only been in Denver, Colorado for one year.
Don and Theldoris are extremely grateful to have their middle son, Aaron, who is a truck driver and lives in Albuquerque, living close to home. “I thank God that Aaron lives close and we get to interact with him and his family about once a week. It has been very comforting to know that we can be there for each other in a moments notice,” said Don.
Don went on to say, "What I have found out is that you don't forget the birthdays or the burial days of your children as long as you live. They tell you it is painful but you can never explain the excruciating pain that accompanies having to bury your child. You don't prepare to out live your children, you expect life to follow the natural order of things and your children will bury you.”
Don and Theldoris have been very active in their church for over 20 years, and they praised the leadership that they received from pastor Samuel Gilmore, for reinforcing their strength and their resolution to stay close to Christ during their times of trauma and turmoil. Both Don and Theldoris credit their strong belief in Christ for being able to deal with the loss of their two children and pastor Gilmore for his guidance that has been invaluable to them.
Don said, “About my children, it remains very fresh in my mind and in my heart even right now, it is very difficult for me to discuss the situation of my children and in raising my daughter's son. I am constantly reminded of Mache' and Don Jr., and had it not been for this lady sitting next to me (referring to Theldoris), I don't know where I would be. We have both drawn from each other and leaned on each other throughout everything. From day to day, we check with each other and see how the day is going.”
Theldoris, “My battles with Satan began when I was born and my parents were told that I would probably not live. And once it was determined that I would live, then I was told that I would not be able to walk. These afflictions did not affect my twin sister Mable. It was a personal battle but God has been with me through it all.”
Even before the death of their children, Theldoris and Don have had to deal with several untimely and unexpected deaths. The first death Theldoris had to deal with was the suicidal death of her 39-year-old brother, Adam James Jr. A year following her brother's suicide, her father, Adam James Sr., would die and three months after her father's death, she lost a sister, Loradell, who was 52, to breast cancer. She would also lose her brother, Norris, at age 60, who would die of natural causes. Her mother, Catherine, died in 2001. Don's father, Henry Clay Maxey, died in September 1987 of natural causes, and his mother, Pearl Lee Maxey,died in January 2004. In addition, they had to endure the deaths of their children. The loss of all these significant family members would happen between 1987 and 2004.
Her challenges and Job like experiences were yet not over. In May of 2007, Theldoris had a bad reaction to a prescribed medication while her and Don were preparing to go to Arizona to their oldest grandchild's graduation. Although Theldoris was feeling strange, the couple decided to continue with the trip because of the importance of the graduation ceremony for their granddaughter. Upon their arrival to Arizona, Theldoris began to have a constant burning sensation throughout her body and they began to notice what they believed to be a rash that looked to be getting worse. The pain Theldoris was experiencing was an escalating burning sensation throughout her body, which began to cause her to have hallucinations.
Don rushed Theldoris to the hospital in Arizona and the hospital released her and gave her medication for a rash. But the next day, the Maxey's felt the need to get back to Albuquerque to a hospital because of the constant and increasing levels of pain Theldoris was experiencing.
Theldoris and Don were greatly saddened to have to leave Arizona and missing their granddaughter's graduation ceremony, but they had no choice. Upon her return to Albuquerque, it was eventually diagnosed that Theldoris had Stevens - Johnson syndrome, a disease that develops widespread erythema and blistering with involvement of over 50 percent of the body surface as well as eyes, mouth, and nasal pharynx following an upper respiratory viral infection. Based on case registries and observational studies, the incidence of Stevens - Johnson syndrome is probably (1-3 cases per million inhabitants per year).
Theldoris accumulated second-degree burns throughout her entire body from head to toe and she lost her hair and all her toenails and finger nails. Friends who came to visit her openly wept as they were disturbed and deeply saddened when they saw Theldoris and the condition she was in. She would remain in intensive care for two weeks. Her blood was boiling so bad that there were legions in her nose and all-around her mouth but there was not much the doctors could do beyond what they already done to reverse the process; they just had to let it run its course. An ordeal that started May 22 would last until June 29, when she would eventually be released from the hospital.
Throughout all the trauma, disappointment and pain, Theldoris and Don remain spiritually strong and committed to each other. There would be many times when Theldoris would end up comforting her visitors who had come to comfort her. “I would have to assure family and friends that I would be okay because God was taking care of me. They would look at the exterior, but I knew God was inside, and he would heal me outwardly when it was time.” Theldoris saw her personal tragedy as an opportunity for her to witness to others about the greatness of Christ in her life.
Theldoris has always felt that she has had a special relationship with Christ. From when she was 5 and became aware that there was a God, to the moment she accepted him as her personal savior at the age of 32, she has always felt his presence. "God has been my strength through everything and I find comfort in witnessing to others whenever the opportunity arises. I used to question God about why I always seem to be the one to suffer. And then I realized my suffering has been shared with my mate because he suffers right along with me. And God gave me wisdom to realize when others would see me and Don remain spiritually strong throughout our suffering, our lives would serve as a witness to them of God's greatness and they could see Christ as a merciful Savior."
“I feel like Job because there has been a lot that we have had to go through. And yes I feel tested in my faith, but I also believe what Romans 8:28 says, ‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.'”, says Theldoris.
Through it all, Theldoris and Don Maxey have grown stronger in their faith and continue to be ambassadors for the work of the God they serve so diligently.
Theldoris counts her life as privileged to be placed in a position to be a witness for God and share with others that he delivers you no matter what you're going through. “I was told that I need to check my life to see what I was doing wrong as the reason for my trials by people close to me. But the scripture that came to my mind was Romans 8:1, ‘There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.'
The parent-child relationship is physically, socially, and psychologically unique among all other human relationships. As Don stated earlier in this article, whenever a child passes away, it seems contrary to our understanding of the natural order of things. Many parents initially feel intense anger at the loss of a child.
Sometimes parental anger is directed inward by the parents as they blame themselves. Other times parents project their anger onto each other as they struggle individually to make sense of their loss. But the Maxey's have always kept channels of communication open between themselves and spoke openly about their feelings. They legitimized each other's feelings in times of grieving, which enabled them to grow closer through all the tragedy.
Don and Theldoris Maxey have been an inspiration for everyone that knows them and they hope that through the telling of their story that others can understand the greatness of the God they serve. “We don't see ourselves as being the victims of a tragic existence, we understand, as Job did, that no matter what comes our way we know that God is ultimately in control.”