Trenia and John
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Trenia Marshall Says...
I'll start with a disclaimer: I do not have a PhD in Psychology! I am a commentator with an opinion ... or two.
What is a good man? When we came up with this topic, Ihad a lot to say! However, when it was time to pen my thoughts, I drew a blank. Why? The definition of a good man is about what you think.
It starts with how you feel aboutself.What are your core values?What'simportant to you? These deep rooted beliefs will probably not change. Converse with a man about his values. What you learn may surprise you.
A good man shouldn't be confused with a good man who is not a good fit. Chemistry should be factored in, also. For some, opposites attract. If youhate (that's a strong word ... have a strong dislike for) football and think Monday nights should be spent taking walks in the park, and hethinks theyshould be spent watching Monday night football, playing armchair quarterback, what will Monday nights be like for you? Sports is not a core value (well, for men it may be!) ... however, ifsmall differences annoy you, how will you react to big differences? If you'd rather spend Saturday nights getting ready for tomorrow'sSunday School class, and he spendsevery Saturday night in the club, is that acceptable to you?
Before we set out to find love (or let love find us), we mustspendtime with self.Women often go into relationships looking to change a man. We fall in love with a man's potential.
What are his friends like? You know the saying: Birds of a feather flock together?His friends say a lot about him.Friends influence friends. If he's hanging out with toxic friends now, what makes you think he will stop?
To clarify, justbecause man is not right for you,doesn't mean he's a bad man. It means the relationship may not be right for you.
I encourage you to read Galatians 5:22, and Philippians 4:8?When we set out to meet a man, we should start there!
Lastly, excellence should be something we all seek. It'sgoingfurther than is required. Most people will only do the minimum.They do enough to "get by". Try this, whoevercompels you to go one mile, go with him two! As you give excellence, you should expect it. Settle for nothing less.
In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, wecome into relationships to grow, not to live in misery. Relationships should be sustaining, energizing, and growth-supporting. When they are not, our growth is stunted, our energy is depleted, and our personality is distorted. If you are in a relationship in which you are happy sometimes, sad most of the time, struggling to figure out what to do, and how to make it last, you may be out of place.
So, the question should be, "What is a good man for you?" After reading this article, hopefully you're closer to having ananswer.
John Wooden Says...
“She came to me. It was my golden moment.She smiled. It was my silver sunset. Though she was beautiful, it was the moment I cherished. The moment told a story—of friendship, of life, of a good woman. It's the moments we live for.The moments that tell a story.It's the moment I met you.The moment I will cherish forever.The moment a good woman graced my presence!”
When the question, “What is a good woman?” is asked of any man, the first mundane thought is always, “A freak in the bedroom and someone I can take home to mama.” Whenever a question of this nature is asked, my first thought is this is a question for a twenty or thirty something year old. Times have changed. Today, the question is more relevant to many of us over thirty-five.
Divorce is prevalent throughout America and the questions of what are good men and good women applies to anyone fifty or younger. It's also a question a man of good mind wouldn't tackle or dare to entertain.
For many men including myself, a good woman is a dream and every man has his own thoughts of his ideal mate. She's usually a faceless dream that captures the heart—a dream that transforms into hope. A hope that one can only wish materializes into something real.
And good women are real, just as real as good men, contrary to the thoughts that both do not exist.
To me, a good woman possesses all of the traits of love and desire. She is God-fearing and her heart possesses the love of God. Her looks are not as important as her personality or her demeanor. She lives her strength, a strength she inherited from generations of good women in her bloodline. A strength that enables her to support and nurture, often times disregarding her needs for the wants and desires of others.
My idea of a good woman knows when to smile, just because; knows when to inspire those she loves to shoot for the stars as well as knowing when to say when. Her wisdom teaches and passes knowledge. She is kind and considerate, but equally stern and stubborn (of course, in a good way).
She is always there, during good times and bad times; and the word, “abandonment” doesn't live in her vocabulary, nor does failure know its way to her heart. She can handle the ups and the downs, make sense out of the good times and bad. She strives for better tomorrows and doesn't let the dark clouds of life overwhelm her or defeat those she loves.
And when the clouds roll in, she winks and blows me a kiss, and inside, I know life could never be bad, because my good woman is by my side.